


Don't You Know Which Clothes Even Fit Me?

by troubledsace7



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Alpha! Herman, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, It’s gonna be sad, M/M, omega!newt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-04-18 06:48:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14207460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledsace7/pseuds/troubledsace7
Summary: Newton was never an ordinary omega, he was loud and commanding, with unwavering determination. Herman was a far cry from the ideal alpha, yet he found himself falling anyways. A man of numbers and equations head over heels for a kaju groupie.After the Events of Uprising, Herman's still reeling. And Newt's lost somewhere in his own mind. even if Herman manages to bring him back will he ever be the same?





	1. Something Soft and Soaked in Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the Clash's Should I stay or Should I go. Chapter title from The Judge from 21 piliots

Newton Geiszler was far from the typical omega, in fact he despised omega stereotypes. Herman’s heard more than his fair share of, “Just because I’m an omega doesn’t mean-”. And Oh boy didn’t Herman know that. He had seen his fair share of Newton’s erratic behavior. No second gender would hold someone as brilliant as him back. Newton was a small ball of chaos constantly, he was always in motion always excitedly rambling about one thing or another. Herman would call it adorable if it wasn’t so damn annoying. Oh who was he kidding, it was adorable regardless. While Newt’s personality was far from the preconceived sweet and submissive omega, his body was another story entirely. He was small, like many omegas and plush. His large eyes screamed omega but his tats and leather jackets screamed “fuck off asshole” .

 

Herman was another story entirely. He had the dominant personality of a much stronger alpha. But his physicality was… lacking. He was extremely thin and his constant limp didn’t exactly scream “Alpha”. But he was enamored with a spit fire omega who would never be his.

 

After the drift Herman refused to look Newt in the eye. The omega had seen Herman’s feelings and would no doubt laugh at the hopeless crush. No thanks better to avoid the subject all together. That didn’t prevent Newt for grabbing his arm as they stumbled together back to their dorms. At Herman’s door Newt grasped his arm.

 

“Herms, we need to talk.” His hair was still in disarray, blood crusted under his nostril and on his collar, and his cracked glasses. Herman thought he looked quite pathetic and in need of a good bath.

 

Herman’s jaw clenched and leaned on the door for support. “I don’t see what for.”

 

Newt groaned and ran his hand through his hair, “Are you fucking- Herman we just drifted! An with a  _ Kaju! _  I think that warrants a conversation. “He drawled out the word Kaju and Herman shuddered. Damn those wretched beasts.

 

“Yes and let me remind you, you idiotically drifted twice with an  _ kaju _ . Maybe you should be reporting to medical Doctor Geiszler.”

 

Newton groaned even louder at the formality and he shoved at Herman’s shoulder, “Seriously Herm?? We were literally inside each other’s heads less than two hours ago!”

 

“Yes, Then you should know I despise being called that.” Herman snapped angrily

 

Newt’s jaw opened and shut twice,. He breathed in deeply and clenched his eyes shut before releasing it in a woosh. “Herman. I don't want to fight. But I do think we need to talk about what he-” Newt voice abruptly stopped and his eyes glazed over, a slow trickle of blood ran down his face.  Herman reached out to him.

 

“Newton, are you-”

 

Newt staggered and grabbed the wall. “What? I - I…” His expression was confused, “ Where am I?”

 

Herman’s eyes knitted in worry, “We’re at my quarters, Newton are you quite alright?”

 

Newt shook his head a few times before his face slipped back into a smile, “I’m fine! Just got a little dizzy is all.What was I saying?”

 

“I think maybe you should come in and sit.”

 

‘Sit. That sounds good. That sounds nice. Okay. We can sit.”

 

Herman opened the door and ushered Newt inside gesturing to the small chair in his quarters.

 

Newt stood by  the door and blinked owlishly at him. His eyes moved to a spot to the left of Herman and glazed over again.Herman looked to his left and found nothing there. “Did you say something Herman?”

 

Herman shook his head his worry sitting tightly on his throat.

 

“I swore I heard something.” He mumbled under his breath.

 

“I’ll get you a glass of water.”

 

“Water?”Newt mumbled staring at the chair. Herman gently pushed him into the chair and Newt went limp. He look distractedly over his shoulder before squinting at Herman again. He nodded twice. “Water. Yes. “

 

Herman limped to the sink and filled the nearest glass with tap water. By the time he returned Newt was slumped in the cahir fast asleep. Herman huffed and placed the water on the table. ‘Probably overexerted himself, idiotic man drifting with a god forsaken Kaju.’ He carefully combed his finger through Newt’s hair and slowly slid his glasses of his face. Newt pressed into Herman’s hand. Herman eyed the distance from the chair to his bed. Newt would no doubt be more comfortable but Herman was in no shape to move him. He nudged Newts shoulder gently, “Newton.”

 

Newt just snuggled more into the chair and huffed.

 

“Really Newton. You must get up. This chair can hardly be comfortable.”

 

“Don’t wanna.”

 

Herman shook Newt harder, ”Too bad.”

 

Newt snorted and then stretched before slowly clambering out of the chair. He then staggered the five steps to Herman’s bed before collapsing on the bed.

 

“Who said you can sleep here?” Herman protested.”You’ve got your own bed!”

 

“Too bad.” Newt shotback muffled by his face in the pillow, “Besides, it smells good.”

 

Herman felt himself flush, “N-Newton!” but it was too late, he could hear Newton's soft snoring. Herman just shook his head and pulled Newton shoes off. He grabbed the blanket off the bed corner and threw it over Newt. He walked to the other side of the bed and laid down. He felt himself literally melt into the bed, he’d had a long day with saving the world and all. The comforting heat of Newton by his side and the lingering mental bond they had felted calm and content. Herman breathed in deeply and he relaxed even more when he inhaled Newt’s sweet scent that had always brought him comfort. He closed his eyes and slept immediately.

 

When he woke up Newton was gone. And they never had that conversation.

 

_ Ten years later _

 

The next time Herman saw Newt he was strapped to a chair. His eyes were bloodshot and there was crusted blood and dirt on his face. No one had took the time to wash him since his capture and he still wore the same suit. He looked pitiful and Herman suddenly felt like crying. He even smells different. His normally sweet scent was replaced with a metallic bitter stench. Herman felt so stupid for not seeing it before. Of course Newton wouldn’t just leave like that not without good reason. And Alice oh god. Herman felt so jealous and he avoided...If only he realized, what was no doubt a cry from help from Newt.

 

Not-Newt’s head snapped up at Herman’s entrance. “Hello, Dr. Gottlieb.” Herman winced at the formality, knowing Newton would rather die than call him that.

 

“Hello Newton.”

 

The creature laughed cruelly. “Oh Herman. Herman. Sweet Naive Heerman. You think you can still save him. Pathetic.” He spat at Herman.

 

Herman took a deep breath and steeled himself. “Newton. I know you’re still in there. Please fight this.”

 

Newtons fingers twitched and he snarled, “You foolish man. He can’t. Poor weak little omega Newton, never strong enough, never smart enough, never  **good**  enough. “ It’s smile grew before it shrugged noncommittally. “Unfortunately, He’s gone. Sorry to disappoint but I’m running the show now.”

 

Herman leaned forward and looked Not-Newton in the eye. “Listen you-you goddamn parasite. I know Newton is still in there and you will let me speak to him.”

 

The creature stilled and blinked a few times before shaking its head. “ No. No.” It muttered then it’s cruel gaze returned it growled at Herman loudly. It’s voice changed to something otherworldly, “How dare you you pathetic human. You are nothing. I will destroy You.”

 

Herman snarled back, ‘I am not. Afraid. Of. You.”

 

The monsters wearing Newts face threw his head back and laughed loudly, He snapped his head forward and stopped abruptly. “You should be.” Then Newt’s body went slack. His head rolled on his chest, before it rose weakly. Newt blinked a few times before whispering meekly, “Herman?”

 

His voice was so small and Herman surged forward and brushed Newton’s finger with his own. The room suddenly was potent in omega distress hormones. Herman’s inner Alpha whined pitifully. “Yes, it’s me I’m here. “

 

Newt coughed wetly and a burst of blood spurted out and dribbled down his shirt. “I’m sorry he coughed out, tears now spilling down his face. “I’m s-sorry” he sobbed out.

 

Herman shushed him and touched his face gently, “It’s okay Newt. I’m gonna save you.I’m never gonna leave you again.I promise”

 

“Herman, I’m so scared.”

 

It was the most vulnerable voice he had ever heard Newt,so raw and full of uncertainty, he felt his heart clench in his chest.

 

Then Newton began to seize. He convulsed violently, his eyes rolled into his skull and blood flow freely from his nose. Herman swore he heard the precursors laughing at him. He was pushed away by the barrage of doctors and nurses who burst through the door. All Herman could do was look on as they injected him with a sedative as he stood back utterly helpless.


	2. My Thoughts Are Incomplete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herman's nightmares take an interesting twist Chapter title from Adderall by Max Frost

It started like every other dream after the drift. Herman was alone and limping through the streets of Tokyo. Or was it Hong Kong? It was of little importance, identifying the vaguely familiar streets seeming inconsequential compared to the giant kaju chasing him. He felt the breath of the kaju on his neck and the thunderous footsteps behind him.

 

_ Oh god oH god. _

 

He made a sharp right and stumbled down the alleyway hands grasping the brick for support. He was going to die here. Panic jolted down his spine as he came face to face with a wall, he slammed his hand on the solid bricks which seemed to mock him in there unwaveringly. His breath stopped and he felt himself on autopilot turning around slowly to face the beast. 

 

_ ‘No No No. I don’t want to-’ _

 

Where a monsterous Kaju should have been was standing Newton Geiszler, dressed in his fancy three piece suit a stark contrast to the dingy alley.Newton. His lab partner. His only friend. His-.

 

“Herman?” His voice echoed down the alley. “What’s goin-” 

 

Before Newton could finish his sentence a claw rammed through his midsection. He gasped and then a gurgle of blood came out of his mouth then dribbles down his chin. The blood was electric blue. Herman let out an anguished cry his arm reaching for Newton’s body which hung from the Kaju midair. 

 

“Her...man” He sputtered out more blood pouring down his face and down his abdomen. The kaju flicked his body off and he slammed into the wall. His body went limp like a ragdoll and Herman saw his eyes glazed over. The blood pooled around his body. Herman screamed and the kaju’s claw advanced towards Herman. 

 

_ I’m going to be sick. _

 

Herman eyes stayed on Newt’s limp form. This felt wrong. The wrongness of the whole situation enveloped Herman’s whole being before he took a step forwards towards the Kaju startling mass. He took another step steadying his nerves. He took a deep breath and He raised his hand in a fist and shouted, “I’m not afraid of you, you bloody mutt!”

 

The Kaju startled before snarling but Herman stood his ground. Instead of retreating Herman took another stride directly in front of the kaju now. The kaju growled louder and lunged forward Herman didn’t even flinch. The kaju evaporated and instead Herman found himself standing in him and Newton’s empty lab. He blinked and Newton appeared leaning against Herman’s neat desk, knocking several papers anew. He sat leaned back with a book in his hand.  _ The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  _

 

This time Newton was wearing an old band t shirt and a pair of jeans with his leather jacket. An outfit that makes him look softer and content, and despite Herman’s constant scolding of unprofessional attire it was a favorite outfit of his. Newton looked up and smiled. Herman gasped, Newton’s normally brown irises were tinted an electric blue. Kaju blue.

 

“Heyyyy Heeeermaaaan.” He drawled out his name and threw the book behind him. His voice sounded distorted and dark causing Herman to take a step back _. “ _ We need to have a talk.” 

 

“Newton?”

 

Newt smile twisted and he stood up, papers falling to the ground behind him. “Not quite. Good guess though.”

 

“It’s you.” Herman said voice full of bile and hatred. “You vile creature.”

 

Not-Newton laughed loudly, “Oh Herman always so cruel. He hated you you know. Always unpleasant and hurting poor little Newt’s feelings. “

 

Herman swallowed audibly, “I don’t believe that.”

 

The creature’s wearing Newt’s face smile slipped a fraction. “Then you’re a fool.”It growled out, practically spitting out the words. 

 

Herman stared down the monster. “Where is he?”

 

The alien Newt laughed again this time more of a screech. “Miserable tiny Newton. Pathetic worthless omega. He stood no chance against us. We are many and he was so so alone. Desperate for love, desperate for touch. He’d even take an broken alpha like you. But instead,”It’s arms flung outward and it grin broadened. “He found us. And we clung to this useless omega and turned him into something brilliant. He served his purpose so we disposed of him. “

 

It shrugged it’s shoulders with little importance. “Newton is gone. There is only us now. “

 

“No.”

 

The creature’s eyebrow twitched, ‘What do you mean  _ no _ ?”

 

“I mean no. Newton is still here I  _ feel _ him.And I will find him. Now move you unpleasant bastard.”Herman pushed the creature out of the way and moved to the door.

 

“We’ll kill him and then we’ll kill you. You will not win. He’s ours!” The creature growled from behind Herman who kept moving forward. 

 

He felt the door disintegrate in his fingers and he was left in the dark. There was a faint blue smoke surrounding him.

 

“Newton?”

 

Suddenly Newt stood before him, this time completely naked. Herman eyes almost bulged out of his head at the sight. 

 

“Hello alpha.”His voice was soft but lacked Newton’s usual bark. It sounded oldly hallowed and echoed in the empty space. 

 

Herman was utterly speechless at the enticing sight before him. This Newton walked up to him and slug his arms around his neck. Herman gulped.

 

“We can do this for you, Apha. You can have him like this in anyway you like. The perfect omega. You can have him.”The imposter kissed up Herman's neck and sighed softly. ‘You can have this and we can have the rest. Take Dr. Gotlieb.”

 

Herman closed his eyes and breathed through his nose. Once. twice. “You are not him.”

 

There was a hissing sound and Herman opened his eyes and once again was alone. But in front of him now there was a red door. That was new. 

 

Herman reached out to touch the door knob. The door was unlocked and gave away behind his gentle push.  _ Well here goes nothing. What was it that Newton used to say? _

 

_ Fortune favors the brave. The imbecile.  _

 

With that thought Herman stepped inside.    
  


The room was dark with one light swinging low. The floor squelched under Herman’s foot. The walls were a dimly lit red and seemed to pulse with a steady rhythm. The room went  on forever the end of it consumed in darkness. He could hear ominous whispering echoing. Herman turned back to the way came. The doorway was gone and the whispering intensified into an ear piercing static. Herman held his hands over his ears  and clenched his eyes shut.

 

“Newton?!”

 

The loud noise was suddenly cut off. Then it was silence. Then a whimper. Herman whipped his head to the wall only to see Newton curled up against the wall a long chain laying next to him on the ground. 

 

“Newton!” This time it was said in a breathless gasp. Newton head stayed in between his thighs and his fingers clenched in his hair. 

 

“You’re not real. Go away.” He shook curling further into himself. “Please leave me alone.” 

 

Herman dropped to his knees, leg be damned before gently unfurling his tight grip in his hair. Upon closer inspection Newton was wearing the traditional white omega garb that he hated so much. The feeling of it brought back the memories of that dreadful finishing school Newton had been forced to attend. The dress wasn’t a pure white, the slaves were tinted blue and it was torn in several places. 

 

He held both hands in his and lifting them to his mouth for a gentle kiss, not an uncommon gesture to comfort an omega, he had done this several times in the comfort of their old lab. He sighed, “Newton, you stupid brilliant man.”

 

Newt’s head slowly raised turning to look Herman in the eye. “Herman.” He breathed, Herman nodded. “It’s really you.” He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Herman’s neck sobbing loudly. Herman wrapped his arms around Newton in return and grasped hard, holding him as if he was afraid he would turn to dust. Newton let out a sob and mumbled into Herman;’s collar.

 

“How did you- How are you here?”

 

Herman pulled away, ‘I’m not. At least not actually. I think” He paused pondering.”I think I’m dreaming.” 

 

Newt nodded frantically. “Right. Right.” There was a pause before Newt gasped, “Her Man they want to reopen the drift you have to stop-” His voice became frantic and his hands shook. Herman grabbed his shoulders and looked Newt in the eyes,. 

 

“We stopped it. They did not succeed in their foolish attempt of the second coming.”

 

Newt sighed and went limp again leaning against Herman. “Thank god.I knew you could…” His speech cut off before he eyed Herman curiously, “Then why are you here?”

 

Herman’s brow raised, clearly confused. “I’m here for you Newton.”

 

Newt shook his head. “No. No. Herman. You can’t- I’m not worth it. You have to ki-”

 

Herman quickly spoke cutting Newton off, “With all due respect Dr. Geiszler you are worth everything. I will not give up on you so help me god. Now if you stop being so foolish we can focus on getting you back. To the world. To me.”

 

Newton eyes shined with tears. “ I-I..” He was cut of by a thunderous roar down the corridor. He shivered heavily before his eyes focused on Herman, full of fear. “You shouldn't be here. You have to go. Now.” He pushed on Herman’s torso urging him to leave. 

 

Herman shook his head, “No.  _ We _ have to go.”

 

Newt shook his head sadly before he brought his hand to his neck, upon which was a thick black collar with a lock and sturdy chain attached. “I can’t leave. Don’t you see? They have me Herman.” He smiled, full of sorrow and misery before he pointed at Herman. “But you’re free. You have to leave.Please”

 

The growling grew louder. Herman grasped Newt’s face gently between his hands, “Tell me how to help you Newton. Please. I can’t-I won’t leave you here to rot.” 

 

Newt blinked in surprise at Sherman's outburst and his eyes flickered to the hallway before landing back on Herman. He pulled Herman’s right hand down over the collar. “You have to find the key.”

 

“What key? Where is it?”

 

Newt shrugged, expression miserable again. “In here. In the drift.”

 

Therimbling echoed before a voice growled, almost unrecognizable,

 

**_“H e   i s    o u r s.”_ **

 

Then Newts body was yanked by the collar and chain and he let out a loud scream followed by an “Find it Herman!” That echoed in the room as Newt was tugged back through the wall. Herman’s hand reached out, desperately.

 

“Newton!” He cried out anguished and he lunged forward on his bed arm outreached. He sat still panting hearing the echo of Newton’s plea.

 

_ Fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think!!!! I love these two so much let me know if I did them justice!!


	3. ' Cause Fire is the Devil's Only Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hermann has a plan. A bad one, but Hey! who's judging. (Just Jake)Chapter title from American Pie by Don McLean

Hermann swallowed nervously before clearing his throat, “Marshall Pentacost.”

 

“Jake.”

 

“Right, Jake.”  Hermann swallowed again. There was a tense silence, Jake blinked obviously waiting for Hermann to continue. 

 

“I want to drift with Newt.”It was Hermann’s turn to blink. He had just blurted that out, which was quite unlike him but exactly like  the his former lab partner. O _ h Newt. _

 

“I’m sorry, you want to _ what _ ?”

 

Hermann heard his dismay in his voice but he didn’t back down. He held his head high and stared Jake in his eye. “I said-”

 

“You want to drift with a mass murdering psychopath?”

 

“Newton is none of those things. You’re describing the sick alien monsters that are controlling his mind. He was my lab partner and although he might be annoying and manic but he is a good man.”

 

Jake seemed taken aback and Hermann took the opportunity to continue with his theory. 

 

“I truly believe drifting with Dr. Geiszler would be the right answer.” 

 

“No offense but how do you know that mate?”

 

Hermann postures grew stiff before he sighed heavily and collapsed in the chair beside Jake’s desk. He leaned forward on the chair and placed his head in his hands. He massaged his temples, “He told me, in a dream.” 

 

Jake laughed loudly before stopping at Hermann’s grave expression. “ You can’t be serious.”

 

Hrman let out a laugh of his own, grated and sarcastic. “I'm afraid I am. You see I’ve been having these horrible nightmares ever since.” He trailed off seemingly into his memories before snapping back to attention, “Since he initial drift. I’ve brushed them off, simply a post drift symptom, or perhaps a variation of PTSD. It was off little importance. “

 

Jake nodded, “What’s a few bad dreams to a war hero?”

 

“Correct. Due to recent events, I’ve since recognized these dreams as a result of the presence of the precursors. They’ve been terrorizing me, but only in my dreams.  I believe that is their extent of their presence in my head, maybe due to me drifting with a partner or simply being less susceptible. I don’t know and quite frankly I don’t care. All I know is I have spent these ten years plagued by them and if my experience is any indication Newton has spent these years in a waking nightmare. “

 

Hermann took a deep breath and looked to Jake who signaled him to continue.

 

“My nightmares usually start the same way. But last night was different, it just felt off and I knew it was wrong. Once realizing it changed and I think I talked to the precursors. They were...just as terrifying in the dream world as they are here. I pushed past them and I entered this room, it was the stuff of fiction and I found him. He’s trapped and he needs me. I don’t think he has much time left. “

 

“And you think what? This will all be magically fixed with a drift? Dr. Gottlieb with all due respect, you haven’t been in contact with him in ten years? How do you know that this isn’t a trick, that he hasn't sided with them.”

 

Hermann glared fiercely at Jake, “With all due respect Jake, you do not know Newton as I do. While he might of been fascinated with the Kaju, he loved this world too. His love of life and biology outweighed the allure of those creatures, that’s why he joined the PDCP in the first place. He is a good man under the influence of evil vermin.”

 

“And what if I said no to this little rescue mission? What’s the plan B.” Jake said with the power of an strong Alpha, clearly hoping to deter Hermann with his sense of obedience. Herman instead stood up so he towered over Jake, posture screaming don’t fuck with me.

 

“I think you’re mistaken. I am not asking for permission, i will drift with Newest regardless. I am asking for support. If you can not give me that then I will take my leave.”He grabbed his cane and turned towards the door.

 

“Wait.” Jake sighed exasperated. “Goddamnit Gottlieb. Fuck. He’s your drift partner, I get it.Okay, yeah. Yeah I'll help you on your suicidal mission. Goddamnit you’re a persuasive son of a bitch. But if we do this, we do it right. “ He pulled out his phone and began to search through it. Herman sat down again. 

 

“Who are you calling?”

 

“Liwen Shao.”    
\-------

 

Herman stood above Newt for the second time as Liwen stood in the background starting up the machine. He looked worse than before, his cheeks taunt and skin extremely pale. Hermann cringes knowing this is the side effects of his imprisonment. His skin seemed tight on his skull and were they not feeding him?  _ Dear god.  _ He had a new litter of bruises on his face and his wrists were scabbed over from his struggles in the chair. Herman’s heart swelled and his resolve solidified. He was going to do this. 

 

“Hermann. HermaaaaaaNnnn. What do you think you’re doing? You’re gonna save him? Huh? You???” He began to laugh maniacally. 

 

Herman threaded his fingers in Newt’s hair, ‘I know you’re in their Newt. I’m going to set you free I promise.”

 

Newt’s head tilted into Hermann’s hands but his face twisted into a snarl. “It won’t work. There’s nothing left for you to save.”    
  


Liwen handed him the helmet and he placed it on his head before sitting across from Newt. Newt’s nose began to bleed, as he struggled to form words “Herm-aa-nn...please don’t. It-’s too, too Dangerous” He screamed the last part struggling against his bond again reopening old wounds, blood dripped down on the carpet. Tears streamed down his face intermingling with the blood. 

 

Herman looked Newt right in the eye, shimmering with an unspoken wetness “I’m coming for you Newton. Just hang in there a few moments more.” 

 

Newton’s face twisted again, laughing cruelly “We’ll kill you, you weak pathetic shadow of an alpha. He can’t protect you in here. Once you’re on our turf we’ll kill you. WE’LL KILL YOU YOU FOOLISH MAN! ” 

 

Herman smiled at that, “I recall something a incredibly smart and foolish man said to me once. ‘Fortune favors the brave.’ Let’s test that theory.” 

 

He swallowed then nodded at Liwen and she pressed the button and in a second both of their bodies went limp.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UM? so theres a lot more planned cue the tragic backstory of Newt's childhood!! Let me know what you think?

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think, if I should continue or not?


End file.
